Relaxation
Vital. Essential.
The two of you need privacy. You don’t want interruptions. Make sure you have several hours to play; there should be no rushing through this event.
Encourage your lady to take long hot bath and perhaps have a glass or two of wine (or her beverage of choice). Neither one of you should drink to excess. Too much alcohol tends to dull nerves and sensitivities, and you really need all your faculties as you attempt this new skill.
Preparation
Patience.
You should spend lots of time hugging and snuggling before the main event. Take your time, ensure her eager arousal. Play. Be silly, nasty, whatever your turn-on. Go for naughty movies, stories, chat, erotic games . . .
Help your partner get ready by doing all those things you know she loves. Back rubs are nice, as are massages with lots of warm scented oil trickling down into her body crevices. Toy with her nipples, caress her body, nuzzle her neck, lick every little part. Some suggest you bring your partner to orgasm first before even attempting anal.
Oral Stimulation
Ah, yes. Heavenly.
For many people, analingus, or rimming, is acutely erotic. Imagine her on all fours as you come up behind her, spreading her ass cheeks with your hands as you begin to lick. Start with her clit perhaps, licking, nibbling, blowing cool air. Next pleasure her wet pussy, making her writhe, and then finally make your way back, swirling your tongue around her ass.
Pay attention to all those exposed areas of her inner flesh, flicking with your tongue, taking little nibbles. Progress to gentle tonguing and then deeply probing her anus, and eventually use a combination of all your oral skills.
Done properly, this technique is mind-blowing. If you’re uncertain, just keep practicing. She will certainly appreciate your efforts!
Lubrication
If your lady has been enjoying all of these things up until now, she probably has copious amounts of wetness, at least in her pussy. The rectum, however, is not the vagina. The ass needs specific lubricant, and the more the merrier.
The type of lubricant is very important. Water-soluble lubes work well with condoms and are soothing and slippery. They usually require repeated applications during sex. Popular brands include Astroglide, KY-Jelly, and ID (which is available in a pump dispenser).
Oil-based lubes, such as petroleum jelly, quickly cause condoms to degrade. They also coat the inside of the rectum, creating a wonderful breeding ground for germs.
The rectum does contain bacteria and thus a very slight possibility of urinary tract infection for you (though she generally stands at greater risk). Condoms can help with that situation and many choose them every time with anal sex, though the majority of people report no problems going bare. Also, urinating after sex (both of you) is a good way to help prevent infection.
Additionally, you should always AVOID any anal sex lubricant that has a desensitizing agent. Pain is a body’s way of announcing that something is wrong. Without that awareness, if her parts are numb, you could accidentally harm her and neither of you would realize it until much later.
Unlike most porn flicks, pussy juices and spit are usually not enough to ease your path (certainly not if this is a first time event for her). Use lube. Lots of it. Coat your cock, her anus, and make sure enough is deposited inside her ass.
Digital Penetration
Now we’re getting somewhere.
Men! Clean and trim your fingernails. Or else!
You could easily injure her sensitive tissues if you are not smoothly groomed.
Some people wish to use latex gloves, especially if this is a new experience for both. Others prefer bare. Either way, always begin with well-lubed fingers.
Use gentle touches to start. Circle around her anus, tease, toy, and lightly push in the center. Make certain you ARE in the center. Looks can be deceiving, so before you probe, be positive of your location.
Penetrate ever so slightly, and then back away. Do this again, and again, and again, and again. Hopefully your partner’s sighs will encourage further naughty activities.
As you play you’ll feel her anus gradually relax; now is the time to slowly slide your finger in deeply. This can be startling for her, sometimes giving her the false sensation of needing to go to the bathroom. That will go away in time. Withdraw gently, add more lube, and go back for more. |
